EMOTIONAL HEALTH IN MARRIAGE
The
word "Health" by default is attached to our physical health only. The
emotional aspect is now slowly gaining its much needed importance not only for
self or individual but also in relationships/institution of marriage.
Being
emotionally healthy simply defines our control on our emotions & our
behaviour attached with our emotions.
Pramod
had recently joined a new firm since he wasn't happy with his previous company.
He would be mostly irritated, impatient with his colleagues there. However, to
his dismay he had somehow landed with same kind of environment again!! A shift
in the thought process was brought to Pramod's notice, "As the seed of
thought is sowed, so shall be the sapling growing!!" The grudges, complaints,
upsets against the colleagues of the previous company was still present in his
memory. All it needed for the same zone to pop up was a few instances to occur
in the new firm too!
"Why me?" a question
comprising of just 2 words encompasses one into anger, frustration, depression,
zone of fear of failure, loneliness, many-a-times affects one's physical
health, performance in work and yes, most importantly, the base of Marriage is
endangered.
It
is easier and also a habit of most of us to first blame another for any
situation/event arisen. By doing so primarily the burden of owning
responsibility is immediately shrugged off onto another. For the time being,
there is peace or let's say the gravity of mess created by self in that
particular situation/event is diluted. However, in the long run it is just the
beginning of the downfall of a relationship. Trust, loyalty, belief system,
attitude, behaviour, space, peace... in short the world of the two people in
the Marriage is slowly uprooted.
The
prominent fear faced and never accepted by the couple is the fear of
non-acceptance by the other partner.
Neeta
knew that her fear of insecurity many-a-times had caused her to suspect her
husband's loyalty in their marriage. She also doubted self thinking she is not
good enough a partner in marriage to her man. Her continuous thought process
made her more anxious, impatient, irritable. However, instead of owing and
addressing the issue, she automatically found it easier to put blame on her
husband. "He is always coming late." "He never answers my phone
calls." "He never appreciates me."
As
cold and flu is known contagious disease, the emotional illness of one partner
gradually affects the emotional well-being of the other partner. The
children/future generation too is indirectly getting affected. It is not only
the new generation that is arrogant or impatient or non-adjusting but what they
have witnessed in their growing years is also important to be considered.
The
marriage is an institution wherein efforts by both the partners is required to
be put in. It is never an attempt of workability on the part of one partner only,
in marriage. Like all fingers of the hand are not the same, so is the case with
the couple in Marriage. Instead of "Who is falling short?" "How
can we rekindle the spark in Marriage?" is the question to be addressed.
The
search for the emotional well-being in a Marriage will surely start with the
couples readiness to accept their responsibility in the Marriage, evaluate
their shortcomings and commit to self to work on those. All you need to do is
look for the support system around in the form of family, friends...
COUNSELLOR.
"LET'S LIVE, LAUGH N LOVE"
Feel free to connect with me through:
piyaangel.k@gmail.com
Counselor Poonam Khairnar on Facebook
Poonam Khairnar
Counselor
09004874093
