Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, 10 November 2020
Saturday, 9 May 2020
MY JOURNEY..
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR
Starting my career as a Counselor was itself a challenge to me too. My professional career as a Pharmacist was in trouble, had just made a round to a Lawyer's office trying to search for an outcome for the turbulent marriage. It was a chaos with family and friends and well wishers almost everybody providing "free of cost" advice for the literally "life and death" situation of mine!!
I must say all the ideas, advices, pravachans bombarded on me did to some point provide solace, comfort, breathing space too. However, none of it seemed to be long term. It did seem to provide me instant gratification like the 5 minutes instant noodles!! Obviously, the fish market chaos would return in no time in my head.
Oddly, I noticed that I was able to support, guide, comfort others with similar issues! I couldn't help myself, couldn't see clearly for myself but was able to show right paths for others!! So keeping my troubles on the backburner, I enrolled for a course in Basic Counseling CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) with Dr. Minu Bhonsale at Heart to Heart Institute.
The idea was to empower myself with the tools in a systematic manner to be effective and result oriented for others in need. And there the MAGIC happened! The tools, the assignments, the sharings of us all students, the experiences and the profound knowledge of Dr. Minu Man helped me see where I stood, what was it that stopped me, what I could still create from the rut of my life. It was amazing, the Healer getting healed first... to become ready and prepared for the job with empathy and not sympathy!!
Not every student who attended the course became a Counselor. Many like me, healed their wounds and returned happily to their lives. Many others utilized the learnings in their already existing professions. And the remaining few including me decided to walk the path, bring in the much required Sunshine in the invisible sorrow filled hearts of many.
I started by saying that my career as a Counselor was challenging. Yes, it sure was. I remember for nearly a year, I was conducting free workshops on various topics, creating awareness on the need of counseling. Created awareness that the matters, issues to be dealt with remain only between the Counselor and the Counselee. The privacy of the Counselee is well protected. had started writing blogs too. Had taken sessions of personal counseling on Rs. 1 fee structure. Just as Body Health (Physical Health) needs to be cared for, similarly Mind Health (Emotional Health) is also very important. Mind and body function closely together creating the much needed harmony of our overall well being.
One does not become a Counselor by just passing the exams conducted for the course but a Counselor grows by each and every case that he/she handles. While gaining my peace of mind, my confidence in myself; finally I risked my Pharmacy profession and started operating as a full time Counselor. Time and patience are the two important tools for any and everything and yes, I too cleared all the hurdles of my personal and professional life with flying colours!!
It was a long time lingering thought that I should now start writing blogs again, share my journey as a Counselor, share the stories that may resonate with many of you out there, pen down the varied cases I have handled, is handling.. for you to be guided by it in your ups and downs and also to let you know that am here, nearby, available to you all at all times you need/require support, guidance, listening ear, clarity..
Stay tuned. Soon will share Counseling cases and stories and my journey as a Counselor too.
Feel free to reach out to me.
POONAM R. KHAIRNAR
Relationship Counselor
Magical Relationship Counselors
https://udyojak.org/poonamkhairnar/
9004874093
poonam.counselor@rediffmail.com
Saturday, 5 December 2015
EMOTIONAL HEALTH IN MARRIAGE
The
word "Health" by default is attached to our physical health only. The
emotional aspect is now slowly gaining its much needed importance not only for
self or individual but also in relationships/institution of marriage.
Being
emotionally healthy simply defines our control on our emotions & our
behaviour attached with our emotions.
Pramod
had recently joined a new firm since he wasn't happy with his previous company.
He would be mostly irritated, impatient with his colleagues there. However, to
his dismay he had somehow landed with same kind of environment again!! A shift
in the thought process was brought to Pramod's notice, "As the seed of
thought is sowed, so shall be the sapling growing!!" The grudges, complaints,
upsets against the colleagues of the previous company was still present in his
memory. All it needed for the same zone to pop up was a few instances to occur
in the new firm too!
"Why me?" a question
comprising of just 2 words encompasses one into anger, frustration, depression,
zone of fear of failure, loneliness, many-a-times affects one's physical
health, performance in work and yes, most importantly, the base of Marriage is
endangered.
It
is easier and also a habit of most of us to first blame another for any
situation/event arisen. By doing so primarily the burden of owning
responsibility is immediately shrugged off onto another. For the time being,
there is peace or let's say the gravity of mess created by self in that
particular situation/event is diluted. However, in the long run it is just the
beginning of the downfall of a relationship. Trust, loyalty, belief system,
attitude, behaviour, space, peace... in short the world of the two people in
the Marriage is slowly uprooted.
The
prominent fear faced and never accepted by the couple is the fear of
non-acceptance by the other partner.
Neeta
knew that her fear of insecurity many-a-times had caused her to suspect her
husband's loyalty in their marriage. She also doubted self thinking she is not
good enough a partner in marriage to her man. Her continuous thought process
made her more anxious, impatient, irritable. However, instead of owing and
addressing the issue, she automatically found it easier to put blame on her
husband. "He is always coming late." "He never answers my phone
calls." "He never appreciates me."
As
cold and flu is known contagious disease, the emotional illness of one partner
gradually affects the emotional well-being of the other partner. The
children/future generation too is indirectly getting affected. It is not only
the new generation that is arrogant or impatient or non-adjusting but what they
have witnessed in their growing years is also important to be considered.
The
marriage is an institution wherein efforts by both the partners is required to
be put in. It is never an attempt of workability on the part of one partner only,
in marriage. Like all fingers of the hand are not the same, so is the case with
the couple in Marriage. Instead of "Who is falling short?" "How
can we rekindle the spark in Marriage?" is the question to be addressed.
The
search for the emotional well-being in a Marriage will surely start with the
couples readiness to accept their responsibility in the Marriage, evaluate
their shortcomings and commit to self to work on those. All you need to do is
look for the support system around in the form of family, friends...
COUNSELLOR.
"LET'S LIVE, LAUGH N LOVE"
Feel free to connect with me through:
piyaangel.k@gmail.com
Counselor Poonam Khairnar on Facebook
Poonam Khairnar
Counselor
09004874093
Thursday, 26 November 2015
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